What will you be remembered for when you die?

When our children are young we look at them and picture them curing cancer, being President, winning an Oscar, etc.

Recently I've been looking at my kids and thinking that when they grow up I just want them to be happy and healthy. I want them to do whatever it is that makes their hearts sing, whether it be going to Medical School, being a teacher, a garbage man, and mail carrier, or a housewife/husband. As long as it makes them happy and it's legal.

Its led me to start thinking about what I want to be remembered for when I die. I want my kids to remember me as someone who truly cared. Who cared about everything and everyone. I want them to remember me as a good person with a good heart.

My Aunt was diagnosed with Leukemia late last week and is currently undergoing intense treatment. I love my Aunt, she's one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. I was the flower girl in her wedding when I was 5. She was fortunate enough to start a sucessful business when she was young that allowed her to make her own schedule and be home with my cousins when they were growing up. After they left for college she used her schedule to help those around her. She spent years going to visit her sister's father in law to help him as his health declined. She came to help my father during his recovery in 2004.

A few years ago she began doing the 3-day breast cancer walk to honor my grandmother (her MIL). She has walked in many since then flying all over the country to pick a new place each time. She also volunteered to be the medic at the three day walk in Boston last year.

Her diagnosis has hit me hard and really left me wondering what I want to do with my life. I am 33, have two kids and work a job that has little to do with my degree. I'll never "be someone". I'll never have a successful career or cure cancer or be the President. Her diagnosis has made me realize that its OK that I'll never amount to much more than I am today. My legacy will be in how my children turn out and how happy they become when they are my age. My biggest fear in life is not being there to watch them grow.

Today Judah told me he didn't want me to pick him up from school because he wanted to go home with his teacher, Miss A (she is his first crush!). I said OK. Two seconds later he got a sad look on his face and said "Mommy, I want you to come pick me up and give me kisses".

There is no better job in this world that to be the one who picks him up and gives him kisses. I think I am starting to find my place. And it really is a good place to be.